My Photo
Location: Northern California, United States

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Blaze updates

My little fella is now 13lb and 13oz as of Friday, Oct. 20. I bet he's a bit more than that now, because he's been eating so very well all weekend! He's the sweetest babe... he laughed for the first time the other day because his darling sister brought him a toy and played with him. He really seems to love seeing Jesse and Ivy when they stop by and spend a minute or two with him!

He really seems to like church, and all the people who want to love up on him. We're really, amazingly blessed!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

My day...

This is a cross posting... too tired to write something different than what I put on my board today! :)
We have construction/interior repairs going on, so I'm likely to be tired all week... but I'm thankful it will soon be done!
I got SOME sleep last night, between 1:30 am and 6:30 am... hoping to get to bed by about 9 tonight. The repairs are going well... the hard part is just keeping everything done and out of the way for the contractors. All our furniture in the living room is smushed together, makes for interesting tv watching! :)

We went to the pumpkin farm in Half Moon Bay this morning... (google it, soooo gorgeous over there!) Kids had so much fun on hay rides, etc, and when they found out that we were home schoolers and not part of the Public School group, they ended up giving us lots of free rides and extra turns. Apparently the PS group that was there at the same time was extremely rude and abusive, even throwing gourds at the tractor driver!!! My kids shocked them by being oh-so-polite and thanking them for the good time, etc., so we ended up being given "treats" all the way around the place! I guess "common courtesy" stands out these days?

Then we ran home (the ocean was ever so blue today!) and picked up Andrew who'd picked up deli sandwiches and packed us a picnic, which we voraciously consumed at our little park, the B
Bay was gorgeous today too! There was a goose that Jesse went to chase, only it didn't run away like all the others usually do... instead it turned it's neck around and stared at him, like, "Ok Buddy, you wanna peice of me? Bring it!" That goose (we nicknamed him "The StareMaster" let Jesse get within a foot of him before Jesse realized that the goose was probably gonna win this one! Jesse ran away just in time! haha! The goose gave him a look that just eloquently seemed to say, "Yeah, I thought so!" LOL!

Now we are at yet another really nice library. I mean, wow, they really do up libraries nicely around here. I can smell the java beans... mmmm... great computers, about a hundred nice chairs and couches, feels like I'm in some really great hotel lobby... volunteers roaming around asking if you need anything... I almost ordered one of those drinks with the little umbrellas and scheduled a massage! *wink*

Actually, I'm plain exhausted... heading home as soon as I can work up the energy to get my car out of the parking garage... the contractors finished early today... tomorrow they paint.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


I woke up this morning mid way through a list... :) I'm goofy, sometimes I wake up in the middle of something really silly. :) (Sometimes I wake up with a beautiful scripture, or a lovely song, and sometimes, well... here ya go!)

Why I am suited for prison life...
-Somebody else does the cooking, the cleaning and the laundry
-Plenty of time to read
-Church service comes to you
-Never have to worry about what to wear
-Plenty of company, large mission field
-Assured of at least *one whole hour* a day outside!

-lack of privacy (used to that already)
-open bathroom (used to that, too)
-inmates fighting (same here)
-poor interior decorating (hahaha! won't even say it!)
-loss of freedoms to go where you want and do what you want (again, totally used to that!)
-the guard may look at you with a gleam in his eye (well, that'd be an improvement! rofl3.gif haha!)

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Little bits

Hi everyone,
I know I'm not blogging much, but it seems that one's ability to blog decreases greatly with the arrival of a new baby, at least for me!
Blaze is doing well, he's now 11 pounds and 6 ounces... he's still a good eater. Sometimes I think that feeding him is ALL I do! :) Just look at these cheeks!

I'm not getting as much accomplished as I need to, but I think that making a plan will help. That way I can organize work times with Andrew and the kiddos, and make specific lists of things for them to do. Right now we're just managing to keep the kitchen clean and the laundry done... which is pretty good considering the very small amount of sleep we've been getting!

I'm not complaining, Baby Blaze is so amazing, so adorable, so beautiful... I'm just in absolute baby heaven right now. I didn't think I'd ever again get to enjoy the sound of a newborn sighing in contentment or smiling in response to seeing my face ... let alone such a gorgeous, sweet one!

Life is good, church is good, every other thing is good... the lines have fallen to me in pleasant places, as the Psalmist says, and the Lord is my portion and inheritance!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Blazing Baby update

Baby Blaze is 8 and a half pounds now! :) He's growing up so quickly, so cute and so sweet! (He is a heavy drinker, which is a good thing if you know what I mean!)

We had his dedication at church last Saturday night. The prayers and prophetic words spoken over him were just so beautiful! I can't wait to get the cd so I can write them all down. I do remember that he was called "a worshipper" and "a warrior" and "a bright light in the Kingdom"!
I love his name... "David Blaze". It just really suits him, and it seems to sum up some things that are going on right now in the Spirit.
Here's a picture from his dedication. Andrew and I couldn't be happier! Friends feel free to leave prayers and words for us or David Blaze in the comment section! :)

Thursday, August 17, 2006

He's more than a month old, and not even due yet!

Our beautiful baby boy, David Blaze, was born at 8:34 a.m., on July 16, 2006. He was 34 weeks gestation. He weighed 4 lbs and 11 ounces, and was 18 inches long. His weight did go down to 3lb 4 ounces (which is exactly what Jesse weighed at 28 weeks, so I had a moment of re-lived panic) but then he started gaining steadily a couple days later and is doing so well now! He's up to 7 pounds as of today. He's such a beautiful boy, he's had two offers of marriage already... one from a little cutie in the icu with him, Perry Nightingale McH., who was also 6 weeks early and had a very close due date, and from another, older woman (who is almost 4 months old!) named Catherine Deborah Anne M., who is also too cute for words and was a few weeks early. Catherine lives on the other side of the country though!

We are so happy and feel so very blessed to have this sweet little man come down from heaven and join our family! Jesse and Ivy are thrilled, and are such loving, tender caregivers to their new little brother. Here's a picture!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Good news!

Dh went to see about getting my laptop fixed up, and instead came home with a new one for me! It blows my old one away, and its the nice wireless kind so I can use it laying down! :) He's just so good to me! He's been worried about me being too bored while just laying down all the time, and I am tired of reading and tired of television, so this is a perfect gift! He said he'd been wanting to get me a new one for a while anyway. I think he's still going to have the old one fixed up a bit (upgraded) and give it to the kids. That way they each will have a comp. to do some of their school work on, instead of taking turns on the "kid computer" or using our regular one. I guess we're a computerized family now. Only the baby (after he arrives!) will have to do without! haha!

It's a beautiful day here... one of my favorites all year! Pentecost Sunday. Here's something I wrote about it on my board: I've always loved it since I discovered it as a little girl. This is like the bookend to Easter for me... it just naturally goes together somehow and I look at it like Christmas too... Christmas was when we got the awesome gift of the very Presence of God (Jesus!) right here on the earth... Pentecost is when we got the awesome gift of the very Presence of God (Holy Spirit!!) right here INSIDE us! :) It's like a birthday! The anniversary of the coming of my very dearly Beloved (can't live without Him!) Spirit. No wonder Jesus was so reassuring to His followers when He had to go... He knew Who the Father was sending, and He was HAPPY for us! :) He was seeing His prayer answered about us all being One in Him, in the Father, in the Spirit... that beautiful "Trinity Loop" was about to be expanded to include all of us! How amazing is that?????!!!!!!

Have a Full-of-the-Spirit Sunday!!

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Bedrest, again!

This is how I'm supposed to be spending my days, tilted up like this fella. I wish I had his book/computer stand and bed!! Can somebody please find one of these and ship it to me?? :)
The blog may go a bit neglected for a while because I'm on full bedrest now, and having to take labor stopping drugs to keep lil' Blaze inside! Prayers are appreciated, for sure. In the mean time, I found a cartoon that tells you what it REALLY looks like around my couch just now, where I've set up housekeeping, er, bedkeeping, er, yeah.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


Really original title, eh? Oh well, I'm lacking brain cells at the moment. I can feel them all slipping down, being channeled into the placenta, and taking up residence in the new baby!
Please excuse my rambling!
I've been thinking that I might like to spend some of my time on bedrest working on the RiverSchooling (tm) (*wink*) stuff. I'd like to get a lot more of what's in my head onto the computer, and then put more of it in action with the children. Especially since we can't go anywhere right now, even to church. Church is 45 minutes away, and I'm on bedrest, so Andrew has decided that everyone should stay home with me, as I'm too "high risk" to leave alone for that long! Boy do I miss church though... it just couldn't be any better, except that every single week it is!! There is no outer limit to being better and better, I believe! Except one of these weeks I might dissolve in sheer bliss... that's the only danger! Speaking of Bliss... I want to purchase a Moffatt version of the Bible (or as my darling adoptive River mom calls it.. the Mo Phat version!) Apparently, the word "bliss" is used to great effect in that translation! :)
See, I'm rambling... isn't there a song about being a rambling man? maybe I can change the lyrics to rambling girl... *grin*
The children are finishing up several of their books for school. I'm excited as we get closer to "done". I can't wait to order the new stuff... I love the smell of new school books! :)
Today is so nice, I wonder if I can't find a way to get down to the swimming pool and do bedrest down there, so the kids can have some fun in the sun. I can rest on the lounge chairs there, and sip something yummy, and maybe have the rest of that quiet time I started this morning. No matter how early I get up, or how quiet I am, the children wake up 10 minutes or so after! It's like they have an internal "mommy is awake" sensor that sends an alarm to the brain and rouses them from sleep. This sensor is located in the same area of the brain as the "Wake up! Daddy just kissed Mommy!" sensor. I'd really like to get a silencer for that last one! :)
Well, Duty Calls.
Have a blessed TODAY!

Sunday, May 21, 2006


My dear sister Alipurr asked about RiverSchooling. I'll tell you what I know so far!
River Schooling is a term that my other dear sister Jessica and I came up with. We want to impart to our children all the fabulous things we've learned over the last many years... I guess it's a sort of radical form of "Christian Education!"

They drink their fill of the abundance of Your house; And You give them to drink of the river
of Your delights. Psalms 36:8

It's all about experiencing God, and going into the deep places of His Spirit... It's about worship, it's about hearing from Him, it's about really LIVING in and walking in the fullness of our relationship with Him. I'm still trying to distill a concise definition for RiverSchooling, which isn't easy because it encompasses so much! It's not just for our children, but for ourselves as well.
What I can do is give a few examples of our "cirriculum" for River Schooling. We're in process of putting more stuff together, organizing it, and maybe writing up an article about it.
But for now, here's an item or two! (Ali, email me if you want more!)
In the subject area of Worship:

Create a Worship center in your home, a single area that can serve many purposes. Things to include:

1) A container for storing flags, timbrels, Ribbon sticks, finger rings with flowing streamers, tambourines, and musical instruments. Shofar or trumpets if you have them!

2) A basket for holding easy-to-read Bibles, notebooks, and pens. Have separate notebooks for each member of the family, and if needed, provide extra notebooks for dreams, for creative stories or jotting down spontaneous songs, poems or for writing down encouraging words or visions. This is especially good practice for the children!

3) An “art” cart or table, or even a plastic box with art supplies inside for prophetic painting, drawing and coloring. A roll of paper or a pad of newsprint that more than one person at a time can work on is nice to have. Sketchbooks and watercolor paper/supplies are nice to have also! Colored pencils, pens, markers and crayons are a must, and glitter and glue may be appropriate for some.

4) Floor pillows are a wonderful investment to use while “soaking” and can be useful when you have a lot of company also! Some good quiet worship music is good to have on hand, as well as some more vibrant, joyful worship as well! Having a variety is good, including instrumental. Encourage the children to sing new songs to the Lord, to make up the words as they go. Writing down those spontaneous song lyrics can make a precious treasure for your family!

In the subject area of Living Scriptures:

Illustrate the Scriptures. Have young children draw pictures from stories or images in verses. Have older children learn to write the scriptures (or print them out!) in beautiful scripts or caligraphy, and decorate with meaningful images, like the Irish used to do with their illuminated manuscripts. For the really ambitious, have the children use a series of verses on a single subject (i.e., fruit) to create a picture. Ask the Holy Spirit to "illuminate" the word and write it in your hearts, and allow Him to give you the pictures, images, and illustrations that relate to the verses.

That's just a couple of examples, there's ever so much more, but right now my dear husband needs my help to make pancakes from a mix. He's brilliant, a veritable genius, but it's touching that he's in need of wifely help to mix instant pancakes! :)

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Homeschooling and the Daily Routine

Well, Today I'm concentrating on helping the children get caught up in their studies. We're a bit behind due to the bedrest, the morning sickness I had earlier, and of course, the flu and bronchitis didn't help either! :) But by adding a few extra pages in a few subjects, they should be finished mid-June. Then we'll have some vacation time to get ready for the baby and goof off mostly (those who know me know I'll have to have some kind of review or drills or something going on even if it is "summer vacation"!).
I'm planning on getting my cirriculum early enough to divide the first semester into individual packets of materials for each day. That way, I will have a bit more freedom to nurse, sleep in, shower, and feed myself after the baby comes! :)

I also picked up some "chore charts" at the teacher supply store. Bright and colorful, a week at a time, the kids love having the schedule and chores listed for each one. (They like getting to add checks or stars, and earning the rewards, that's for sure!) I really thought they'd be out of that phase, but apparently, what's old is new again! This helps me since I'm on bedrest, they can check the chart and know what else to do, and check it off to make sure they've done what's expected.

Now I just need to add "River-Schooling" into our routine more. (With obvious adjustments for me laying down!) So far, so good! :)

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Resting and Waiting

I'm rediscovering what it means to rest. With my last pregnancy I spent a lot of time on bedrest, and I'm getting to do that again! So far I'm on modified bedrest, which means I have more freedom to do the necessary things like shower and go to Doctor's appointments, but I'm not allowed to do any housework or do anything else that might trigger contractions. 25 weeks and counting. Next week I'll see the perinatologist and hopefully find out what the game plan is for managing things for the next 10 weeks or so.
The baby continues to grow and wiggle and basically just delight us in every way!
I am craving funny foods though... fresh cold strawberries and Funyuns, for goodness' sake! French onion soup and ice cream sandwhiches... Thai soup and Thai iced tea... oh wait, that one's pretty normal for me!
My DH is such a sweetheart, so tender, so gentle, so good at taking care of me and the baby and the children. He continues to amaze me with his generosity, his kindness, and his love. One of my ER nurses kept pointing out how impressed they all were with him, in stark contrast to most of the husbands who come in with wives in my condition (having contractions, etc.) He *is* exceptional! God has shown me once again how great His love for me is, and how much favor He pours out on me!
Well, back to the couch to catch up on my rest some more!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

The Answer My Friend

The Answer, my friend, is blowing in the Wind... the Answer is blowin' in the Wind!

"The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit." john 3:8

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

She's baaaaack

In the news: We're expecting a baby boy in August! woohoo! Boys are awesome! (Girls are too! My dearest, most faithful, and absolutely gorgeous best friend is expecting a girl a few weeks before I'm due! What fun to have them together!)

We're planning to move to the East Bay... much closer to our wonderful church! Even though it will be a real commute for Andrew, he really feels called to be over there. I'm not complaining, I love my church and the wonderful people in it. I always knew deep in my heart that church could be like very, very good... it makes me laugh and cry with Joy just to be there!

Until next time,
Lisa-Anne under the Open Heaven

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

We're always being told to go to our "happy place" when undergoing something stressful or difficult or painful... Well, thats fine and good, but I think I'd like to live in My Happy Place. :) The dishes are always done in My Happy Place, and the Laundry folds itself. The children are squeaky clean and well groomed, and my husbands socks never hide in dark places like under the couch or under the desk. There is both sunlight and shade in My Happy Place, and rainbows and fluffy white clouds fill the sky like cheap wallpaper from the early 80's. There is sand and sea, it looks rather like the Maldives, on closer inspection! Fragrant floral breezes are constantly wafting by, made by the wind running its fingers through real flowers - not created by some phony plug-in air freshener! Oh, and there is Thai food there... the good stuff. Red Curry Prawns and Red Curry Chicken and Red Curry anything else! Every half an hour or so, a tray comes around with a glass of Thai Iced Tea or a Sonic Route 66 Diet Cherry Limade (extra cherries, thank you!) or a Lemon Ice from JJ's deli in the town where I grew up. (I heard they don't make those anymore... no reason to go back there now, I guess!) In My Happy Place, there is good music being created on the spot, worship music of the highest order. And there's a swinging hammock with a silky, tasseled throw and fluffy pillows in soft, brushed cotton pillowcases. Oh, and there is a small bookcase overflowing with good books yet to be read, an easel set up and waiting for inspiration to come, a camera handy for capturing beautiful things both large and small, and an endless supply of crisp, clean, white paper and colorful, glittering gel pens in every shade and hue.
Since I can't live in my happy place, maybe I'll share a little of it from time to time. It's quite a large place, you know! Maybe you'll find yourself written into the scene!

Friday, March 04, 2005

The long road home

Just as it happened, there was a neonatologist in the hospital that day, visiting. He was a world class Preemie Doctor, from one of the finest Preemie Hospitals in all the land. He was there working on my son, who no longer could exercise his tiny lungs alone, when my husband arrived.
I don't know how it is that they took Andrew to see the baby straight off... maybe my housemate Lisa vouched for him and they took him straight away to a window where he could see a tiny doll (surely that was not a real baby?) being worked over by a team of specialists, with a special ambulance transport team waiting with a high tech, portable isolete made just for preemies... I was in shock, and left all alone for some reason. I didn't care, I wanted every nurse and doctor in the hospital with Jesse! I was freezing, and shaking, and thought I might even be passing out. Soon someone came and saw me and yelled for help... and I remember lots of hot white blankets covering me. It broke me out of a strange fog. They told me my husband was with the baby, and I knew a great relief.
They wheeled Jesse in, all hooked up to monitors and machines and told me to take a look and say goodbye, that they had to take him to another hospital. Andrew looked really scared. I asked them if they were taking me too, but no. They were taking the special doctor though, who would stay with him and make sure he was stable.
I actually tried to get up off the table and tell them I was ready to go, to just give me some slippers... but Andrew told me no, so I quietly laid down again. I found out later that they would have sedated me with a hypodermic if I'd insisted!
So I watched my baby roll away with a team of people, and my heart left my body and went with him.
They kept me overnight, at one point sending andrew home to rest so he could drive me to the other hospital the next day. Besides, I needed something other than a long flannel night gown to wear. They ended up sedating me, twice, but I was so keyed up that I walked the hall from my room to the nurses station probably 50 times. At 5 a.m. I finally convinced them to call my doctor's service and beg them to have him release me. I was out the door by six a.m., desperate to get word about Jesse. Nobody had given us any updates!
A wonderful friend, Marcee, had come to get us. We didn't have a car at that point, being new to California and having sold everything to come. She rented a car for us and sent us on our way. I didn't come home for a month... they actually gave me a room to stay in AT the hospital when they saw that I would not, could not, leave Jesse's side. Andrew and I stayed in the hospital in San Francisco for 3 months. I don't recall eating or sleeping much at all... just keeping vigil, praying, covering Jesse's isolette with scriptures and pictures from a precious moments storybook... and ministering to other parents. It was the most traumatic, hard, life-altering thing I've ever been through, but that's another blog. It wasn't over after we left the hospital 3 months later... we continued to beat the threat of death away from our baby right up to this last year. I can't count how many middle-of-the-night ambulance rides we've taken... how many miracles we've seen (even the doctors admit they are miracles, many doctors have seen the power of God and the usefulness of prayer since Jesse came along.)
But it seems we're almost out of the woods now... and we have a strong, beautiful boy, sweet, precious, and wonderful to the core. He's very empathetic to anyone in pain, he's suffered so much of it himself. He loves Jesus, because he has known Him from birth... He knows Who carried him through each crisis. He was 4 and his sister 3 when they invited Jesus in as Lord.

And here I sit, wondering why I still get so wound up every year on the night before his birthday, feeling the loss of *something*, feeling the shock and trauma and hardness of the road we walked threatening to come up and overwhelm me. I wonder why even the fact that my tiny baby is _9_ years old today makes me cry. I guess I have a good cry coming, eh? I never really did get to cry it out of my system. I didn't have time... I had a baby to take care of, and a Father in Heaven to give no rest concerning my little ones! It's good that I learned early that my mothering heart was perfectly lined up with the Father heart of God, that indeed, one came from the Other! I don't have time to cry now, either... I need to go and make pancakes and eggs and start the day off with celebration and thankfulness and praise to the One who lent me these sweet little ones. Maybe later I'll have a minute to reflect on where the time has gone!!

Thank you, who read this, for praying for my precious son today, for this to be a wonderful, growing year, and for his life to be wonderful too!
Much Love,
the mother of two (so far!)

The Journey Begins...

At this minute, my darling baby was being given a UA line (Like an IV, in the umbilical opening) and being monitored... he breathed on his own for just a few minutes, so they wrapped him, walked him over to me, and showed me the tiniest face I ever saw, like a doll... he looked like the sweetest little old man with the wisest eyes... I thought maybe they'd caught a little leprechaun instead of my baby... he didn't seem to have an ounce of padding on him! My heart caught in my throat, and I named him Jesse Andrew. The plan had been to name him Jesse William, but I just couldn't... I couldn't name him william! What were we thinking?? :) I had to give him Andrews name, so he could have a little bit of his Dad, who still hadn't made it there. At least I could send his fathers' name with him!
They hurried him off, because something was wrong.

Exactly Nine Years Ago this very minute...

My baby boy came rushing into the world... attended by more doctors and nurses and (bless their hearts) a few EMT's who just couldn't leave. Firemen had followed us (they were the first responders to my house when my housemate Lisa called 911...) There were more people crowded into that room than any episode of ER ever had!
My husband was on a train, crying and praying, from San Francisco where he'd already been at work, because Lisa had the foresight to call him also.
I pushed for only a minute or two, and Jesse came into the world. I saw just the shortest glimpse of my baby before they quickly cut the cord and rushed to the room next door. Almost the entire flock of doctors and nurses went with him, which made me afraid for the first time.
My doctor stayed with me, stitching up the incision he'd made for the sake of the baby. Apparently, with preemies, the faster and easier they're born can make the difference between life and death.
One sweet nurse stayed with me as well... and she called a friend for me who worked at the hospital. She was an elder at our church, as well as the head of Infectious Diseases for the hospital... when she came into the room to see me (and pray for me and my baby who still hadn't cried... aren't they supposed to cry??) everyone backed away, thinking she was there due to some exotic disease! :) She quickly yelled that it was a personal visit, much to their relief! :)
She came and got the report and held my hand... and I sent her to PLEASE see my baby and tell me what was going on...

Nine Years ago this minute...

I could hear (over the din) the sounds of my doctor running down the hall. His practice was right across the street from the hospital, and apparently he'd nearly been hit by cars as he RAN to the ER. I could hear his shoes flapping on the tile floor.
As he literally screeched into the room, I looked up and saw his face, and I uttered the words, "I told you so!"
He paled when he saw it was me...
I'd been in on Friday (today was Monday) telling him that I was positive I was having my baby early, I didn't know why, but I begged him to send me in for tests of some kind. He patted me on the head and said I was a nervous first time mommy!!!

Nine Years ago right now...

There were 6 nurses and a few doctors and 3 panicked EMT's all around me, some yelling at me that whatever I do, DO NOT PUSH! I thought that was a rather silly thing to say, considering I'd not pushed at all... As a matter of fact, flashing back, all I'd done was sit in the bathroom expecting a much different delivery... I thought I had gas that morning! I never dreamed it was labor considering I was only 28 weeks and 1 day along...

Nine Years ago Today...

I thought I'd take a page from my friend A.'s blog...
nine years ago this minute I was being wheeled through the crashing doors of the Emergency Room of Mills Peninsula Hospital... there were EMT's and Nurses all screaming in a panic at each other, and stunned patients sitting in the waiting room who actually had the nerve to look annoyed that someone on a guerney was getting to go in ahead of them... :)

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

'nuff said! Posted by Hello

Tonight there was a beautiful sunset... just a gorgeous sky really. Most nights there are! It seems to me that we have no excuse not to be constantly revelling in the awesome love of the One who created all these wonders just to *delight* our hearts!
Makes me want to dance and laugh and wave a glory-colored flag for my Amazing Father!
Thank You for the River that flows from Your throne! What a wonderful thing that You give us to drink from the River of Your delights! I love Your Artwork, Jesus! How wonderfully well You made the heavens and the earth... and even me!! It's amazing that You look at us (at me!) and now see Your lavishly dressed Bride, created for and suited to You!!! What an incredible "match-maker" is my Father! :)
The Spirit and the Bride say "COME, Lord Jesus!"

Thursday, January 27, 2005

A little bit about my church and church family... Blazing Fire in Pleasanton, CA.

Being under the wings of Brent and Suzanne Lokker is like being in the express lane to restoration, healing, love, blessing, destiny, and all that the Father's heart holds for us!!! Blazing Fire is a beautiful place to be, where the leaders really have given over complete control to the Holy Spirit and are just excited to follow HIS lead! Every week I see the Kingdom expanded in glorious ways; the increase of Jesus' rule and reign is exponential in this place! Every week it seems we go to new heights, and heaven comes down in greater degrees! Brent stands like a beacon, declaring Daddy's awesome love and favor over every single one of us, giving us permission to be who we already are! Suzanne's beaming face and beautiful smile (not to mention some of the most loving, imparting hugs available on earth!) are such a healing force that many find themselves basking in the warm glow of an open heaven just from being near her! We feel so blessed and priveledged to be where we are in this moment, this very special, historic moment. Everyone keeps feeling a sense of awe, one that is growing stronger by the week! The elders here remind me of those in John's Revelation, because they're always around the throne, always worshipping, always with the High praises of God in their mouths! Carla, Dan and Amy just *glow* in the Spirit!! The faces of so many beautiful people that I know and am getting to know at Blazing Fire will often come to mind throughout the week, and I find myself rejoicing and interceeding and thanking God for them! Every Saturday night a room full of Pioneers in the Spirit, Trailblazers, Lightning Rods, and World Changers gather, and boy, is the air SUPERCHARGED!! Last week I ended up in the floor before the soaking time even started! This is church like I always dreamed it could be...and I hear the Lord saying, But wait!!! There's more!
Thank You LORD! We want MORE of You!

Monday, January 24, 2005

An Evening of Firsts

Saturday Evening was Night of Firsts. I gave my first altar call and my first sermon (in that order!) and I got to help ordain two new ministers! Since I've only been ordained for 23 days myself, I'm pretty dazzled by what the Lord has done! I've also already been away and come back from my first mission/ministry trip in another state where I got to watch first hand as the Lord accomplished mighty deeds and wonderful acts among the people there!
I want to share with you a little bit I wrote about my first First on Saturday. I had the incredible honor and priveledge of serving communion with my beloved fellow minister, the Reverend Lani Langlais.

"As we began serving communion, I was completely unprepared for how staggeringly, _stunningly_ beautiful and ravishing the *Bride* is, walking down to aisle to receive her *Beloved*... I know His heart must be completely undone at the sight! ( Just one time on the other side of the table can seriously change a persons life!) When you serve communion, you are standing in the place where the Groom stands in a wedding; the signifigance was not lost on me, watching all the beautiful, glorious ones coming down the aisle! I could feel the passion of the Lord for His precious people as each one came up and I could see the *blazing fire* of *love* reflected in their *eyes* as I put "His Body" in each extended hand..I could feel His DELIGHT ... I was very nearly overcome! After Lani and I served each other, and sat down, I was just unable to contain it and sobbed silently for several minutes from the sheer depth of the longing He has for His Bride and His overwhelming love for her.... "

The Spirit and The Bride say COME, Lord Jesus!

Thursday, January 20, 2005

In Omnia Paratus! (or, Ready for Anything!)

Ya know, being a Christian means ya oughta be ready for anything! Expect the unexpected...
believe the impossible is not just possible, but *probable*! Now, I don't mean that we should be BoyScout-prepared, or have an earthquake kit handy (that'd be a blizzard/tornado kit for the rest of y'all back home!)... What I mean is just that we should be eagerly anticipating the next awesome "surprise" our Daddy God has in store for us! We of all people should view life as the greatest adventure ever known, and make the most of every minute!
I watched a show where a young girl away at college is allowed to join a secret group for a newspaper story. She was blindfolded and driven away to a remote location. (NO! Don't leave, it isn't CSI or anything like it! I promise!) When the blindfold came off, she was shocked to find a beautifully set up campsite complete with feast and individual tents and even lanterns on a table to light their way. There was much singing and eating and dancing and playing of intellectual games (and quite a bit of drinking too, but hey, it's a show about a girl in college!) The thing that struck me most was the passion for living a full life that this group seemed to embody. The next morning, the girl is surprised to find a beautiful blue dress and scarf under her cot, perfectly suited and fitted to her! Nothing was left undone... there was even a bowl and pitcher with water and towels in her tent. Everything was provided! She emerged, dressed beautifully (without even knowing ahead of time that she'd be there overnight). There was much celebration and revelry, and more than a few shenanigans. I found myself LONGING to be friends with these folks, even forgetting for a moment that they're just actors on a screen and not real at all. The most amazing moment came when the young girl, being challenged to climb to a great height (in a Paris Couture gown and slippers!) took a huge risk. She and her male escort made their way to a high platform and were "buckled" onto a contraption designed by an engineering student. (note: MSU students, do not try this at home. The engineering department is not that great!) The fella told her she could back out, but she replied, "You jump, I jump, Jack!" and with umbrellas in hand they jumped 80 feet to the ground below and landed beautifully! (I understand the hydraulics involved in this stunt, and yes, it is indeed possible! It brought my days of being a Bungee Jumper and Instructor vividly back to mind!)
The girl, quite giddy, turned to her friend and said, "That was a once in a lifetime experience!" and his response ( which so shook me that I've written this long blog all about it!) was, "Only if you want it to be!"
There was so much spiritual truth in that episode it'd take me a month of Sundays to preach all the points! But here are a couple!
WE are those people! At least, we're supposed to be! We're supposed to be the happiest, most joyful, vibrantly alive people on the planet... like pockets of daylight walking around in a world that only knows night! Everywhere we go, we should light the place up, as if a spotlight tracked us from heaven! (it DOES, ya know!!!)
We SHOULD be feasting... Feasting on the Bread of Life and the New Wine that makes us so incredibly inebriated from drinking deep the drafts of the Spirit!
We CAN live life fully, and fully live life... everything is brighter, richer, deeper, lovlier, sweeter, more fragrant and more alive because the Spirit of God has come in and breathed His life into us!
We're supposed to be more merry and have more fun than folks who don't know Jesus. The somber days of the Religious are over (THANK GOD!) and the new days of walking in freedom are here! (it was for freedom that He set us free!)
SO LAUGH! Dance with wild abandon! Drink deeply from the river of His delights! Our GOD is alive and passionate for His Bride! Get carried away, in His arms! Get DRUNK!!! (in the Spirit! You know what I mean!!!) It's so hard NOT to be intoxicated by His love!
DRESS UP!!! Let His glory SHINE from within you!!! Go to high new places in the Spirit and follow His lead!!! Tell Him... "You jump, I jump, Jesus!"
I promise you, it'll be the experience of a lifetime, but just the first of many that He has in store for those who love Him enough to look Him in the face and see the fire in His eyes for His Bride!
In Omnia Paratus!!!!

Monday, January 17, 2005

Jessica, Lani, and Lisa-Anne... Praising God and having fun in the Saguaro Forest!  Posted by Hello

Me and my bff Jessica, once again, I'm the blonde!  Posted by Hello

Monday, January 03, 2005


Holiness on the head,
Light and perfections on the breast,
Harmonious bells below, raising the dead
To lead them unto life and rest.
Thus are true Aarons dressed.

Profaneness in my head,
Defects and darkness in my breast,
A noise of passions ringing me for dead
Unto a place where is no rest.
Poor priest thus am I dressed.

Christ is my only head,
My alone only heart and breast,
My only music, striking me ev'n dead;
That to the old man I may rest,
And be in Him new dressed.

So holy in my head,
Perfect and light in my dear breast,
My doctorine tuned by Christ (Who is not dead,
But lives in me wihle I do rest),
Come people; Aaron's dressed.

--George Herbert, from "The Temple" published in 1633.

I selected this poem because it speaks to me so wonderfully about the condition we are in... priests in a glorious Kingdom, having to trust completely in Jesus alone to clothe us in His righteousness. In the Old Testament, descriptions are given of the clothing and accoutrements the priests were to wear. On their heads was to be a gold pendant with the words, "Holy to the Lord" written on it. In the pocket of the Ephod, the Urim and Thummim were carried, whose names mean, "Lights and Perfection". The priests had bells sewn into the hems of their garments so they'd jingle as they moved about. If the music stopped, it meant the priest had died in the presence of God Most Holy.
I think Herbert hit the nail on the head with this one! Only with the mind of Christ and the precious Holy Spirit (our perfect light!) within us can we be rightly dressed as priests and ministers of the Lord, to lead His people into life and rest.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

New Year Update

Hmmm, it's been entirely too long since I posted here!
I have some news. It's good news, and no, I'm not in the family way! I am, however, now officially an ordained minister of the Gospel. How's that for mind-blowing?
God is so good! I'm excited about the idea that I get to go around blessing people in His name for the rest of my life! I know I could do that without being ordained, but this way is just so much better! Having that covering and authority over me as well as the impartation and blessing and releasing to move into my calling and destiny is such a wonderful thing!
Now I can serve in prison ministry, be a hospital chaplain, and marry happy couples. I can baptize believers into the Body, I can bless and dedicate sweet little babies to the Lord, and I can ordain other ministers!
I think we're going to need all the ministers we can get, because the harvest is white in the fields and the workers are few. I'm thinking now that 95% of the folks in church should be ordained ministers and the other 5% should be the newly saved! (Being a "minister" doesn't mean you are limited to being a pastor; being a minister can be many other necessary things in the Body!) A dear friend of mine was praying about this recently, as to whether she should be "ordained" or not, and the word she heard from the Lord is this, "I would that all My people were ordained!" That makes sense to me!

My name means "Consecrated to the Lord, and Grace", so in one way I'm just living up to my name, being set apart as a minister of His grace. In another way, I've thrown myself with abandon into His arms, and declared that I where He goes, I will follow! I'm absolutely undone at His amazing Love and Goodness to me, and I marvel at how gently and tenderly He leads me! Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised!
In His everlasting arms,
Reverend Lisa-Anne Wooldridge

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Cheryl and Lisa-Anne (I'm the blonde!) Posted by Hello

God of Wonders beyond our Galaxy... You are Holy!
The Universe declares Your Majesty... You are Holy!

Monday, November 29, 2004

Psalms 18:28 Remix

I love this verse... "For You light my lamp, The Lord my God illumines my darkness." (PS 18:28, in the New American Standard Version)
wow... or in other words,
"Jesus, You light my fire! You shine so bright that I'm filled with light, and now I can see my way clear!!!" wahoo! (PS 18:28 in the New American Lisa-Anne version! ;))

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Glory-Filled Cloud of His Presence

Early this morning,
the Lord woke me up and said, "Look out the window."
I was barely awake, someplace in between waking and sleeping, and I saw something I didn't understand. The whole world outside my window was covered in a THICK, Bright, Amber-colored fog or cloud.
The sky was full of it, and the ground was covered... I could barely make out the trees close to the window. The cloud of thick fog was all lit up, orange-like, like fire from within.
I saw it, and I think I was "slain" or else conked out really fast! Later this morning when I was becoming awake, I was hearing something about, "…opening Heaven, the cloud of My presence pours thickly into the earth, lit up by the Glory of the Son of God…”
And I was thinking... is that what it looks like? The fog was moving over the face of the earth like it was alive and so beautiful.
I do think I "overloaded" when looking out the window... blew a fuse in the Spirit, because normally when I see something neat in the early hours, I'm running downstairs to get the camera!
I keep seeing flashes of a Spiritual storm coming... with flashes of multi-colored Light inside the cloud. The cloud is like a wall on the ground, advancing. It’s more white than gray, and seems clearly defined. I can’t wait to be a “storm chaser” and run into it! I know it’s not dangerous for those of us who are able to breathe the air in there, who are ready and waiting for that atmosphere!
And then last night I saw a show was coming on TV called, "Category 6" (tornadoes only go up to category 5!) and I nearly lost it!!
I was thinking, “YES! YES! Wait till the church hears about the category 7 that’s coming from Heaven to the earth!!!!!!!!”

Monday, November 15, 2004

This Little Light of Mine...

How many times have we sung the sweet childrens song, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..." ?
What a powerful call to supernatural, Jesus-style living! I loved the song as a child, and now that I've grown in understanding, I love it even more!

I've copied a verse here that really says more than what it seems on the surface. I've broken the verse down a little bit, using the Greek words and corresponding Hebrew ones to show the richer meaning of some of the words.
2 Cor. 4:6
For God, who said, "Light shall shine out of darkness" is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
4:6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. (KJV)

(now the breakdown)
For God ("Theos"), who said, "Light ("phos", to shine or make manifest, especially by rays; to say or make One's thoughts known; to make clear and cause to appear and shed light) shall shine ("lampo" Lamp) out of darkness," is the One who has shone ("lampo")in our hearts to give the Light ("photismos", the act of enlightening, illumination, to shine,
to bring to light, render evident; to cause something to exist and thus come to light and become clear to all; to enlighten spiritually, imbue with saving knowledge,instruct, to inform, teach, give understanding to) of the knowledge ("gnosis", a deeper, more advanced understanding) of the glory (splendor, brightness) of God in the face (to see and be seen in the presence of, to appear before and see the countenance of) of Christ. (NAS)

So in other words... the same Guy who said, "Let there be light" to such great effect back in Genesis has now made an even greater decree.

Back then, when He said, "Let there be light" the stars were created in all their beauty, lighting up the entire universe and our world. Thats a powerful phrase - when He uttered it, every star in the heavens sprang into existance and He calls them all by name. But now, He's gone and said it again. This time around, He decided to come and say "Let there be light!" from His seat on the throne of our hearts! That's right... We are indwelt by the Holy Spirit of God in all His beauty. We are told that the Morning Star will be shed abroad in our hearts... we'll be lit up with Light from within. God saw that the world was still a dark and desperate place, so He decided to create a new "host" of lights to light up the world. Us. We are His points of Light on this planet... the heavens come down to touch the earth. We are like a city set on a hill... at night!

With darkness all around, we are lit up with His presence all over this planet, casting His bright shadow everywhere we go. Many times, we close ourselves off, and block our spirits. We don't let people see the real us. (under a bushel, no?) We pull the windows shut and close the shutters, and very little light escapes from us, kind of like the blackout shelters during World War 2, where people learned to seal all the cracks and not show any light at night so they wouldn't become the target of the evil 3rd reich's bombs. A lot of us are also trying to hide from the bombs of our enemy, not realizing that we have a greater protection promised to us than any people in any war have ever been given!!

For us, the danger is not being exposed and letting our light shine... the real danger is in being tempted to hide our light. That's how it gets snuffed out, ya know? If you hide it under a bushel, it not only can't light the way for others, but all the air gets sucked out and the flame is in danger of dying. Instead, we're called to take the shutters off, open the window, and turn the flame on high. We can burn the oil in our lamps at full blast, because the more we burn, the more we have to burn.

We're not just supposed to go into all the world, making disciples of all nations... we're supposed to CARRY the Presence of GOD in these earthen vessels, and let Him SHINE out from within us. That's what will cause the Glory of God to thickly blanket the earth!

I have a torch, a lampstand, burning in me. "It's like fire, shut up in my bones," said an OT Prophet. It's a bright Light, a heavy glory that we never could have carried under the old covenant. We would have died under the weight of it, been consumed by the holiness of the Lord, just as if we'd tried to carry the sun in our hands. The MIRACLE of the gospel is that now, we ourselves, in our frail human tents, carry the Spirit of God, the Glory of God, the very Presence of God inside us. We couldn't carry the sun in our hands, but we can do an even greater thing... we carry the Son in our hearts. Trust me, it's a bigger deal! So instead of drawing the curtains across our hearts and faces and hiding His glory from the world, I dare us to rip the veils in two, to open the windows, to throw back the shutters, and let the Holy Spirit pour out of us like a River of Light into all the world. See, the world will be so surprised, because they understand the idea of opening the windows and curtains to let light
from the outside into a dark room ... but it's stunning when they see what we can do. We pull back the curtains and throw open the windows to let the Light from within into the dark and dying world! His glory is like a thousand suns for those who shined upon!

Through the Holy Spirit, who is very God of very God, we are in two places at once. We stand here, looking out of our eyes into the world. But in the Spirit, we are also in the heavenly places in Christ, able to worship in the very Throne Room of God, beholding Him with the eyes of our heart. The longer we behold Him, the more like Him we become, from Glory to Glory, transformed into the image of the One we Love. (It's like a photograph, the longer you set the exposure, the more light is absorbed by the film!) It's not enough to just revel in His presence. If we truly want more of Him, we have to open our hearts and let the rivers of living water flow out of us! Spring up Oh, Well, within my soul!

The whole earth longs for us to reveal His glory to them. We are like the stars in His heaven... shining light wherever He sends us. And we know the light is not our own, but we are lit within by the God who IS Light, and as we look into the face of Christ, we will begin to shine forth the knowledge of the Glory of God into the world... and the world will be touched by the Light.

In the words of Bebo Norman,
"Oh great Light of the world
Fill up my soul
I'm half a man here
So come make me whole
Oh great light of the world
Come to impart
The light of your fill up my heart."

The Greatest Story Ever Told

I've learned a few things recently that I ought to at least try to communicate. New understanding, new depths of revelation. Our God is a God of Light. He IS Light. Jesus is the Light of the world. He was with God in the beginning. When God spoke, "Let there be Light" He was saying, "Let it be known that there is Light, I am speaking and illuminating My creation, that they might see, and turn from darkness to Light." Our day and night cycle is a metaphor for coming out of the domain of darkness into His glorious Kingdom of Light. The sun and all the stars are merely a metaphor, a story, written for us to begin to understand the power and nature of our God. The Kingdom of heaven is far more real than the earth and stars and moon and sun. In a sense, our whole exsistence is being lived out in a 3-D interactive storybook in God's hands. What seems so very real to us, if we had the Eternal Perspective, would be seen as a simple metaphor, a parable, a lovestory in a book. A "type" or shadow of the real thing. God being God, and the Author and Finisher of our faith, He created us... but unlike other authors, He brought the characters in His story to life! He made us "real" and gave us real choices, and when we chose to bring death on ourselves because we believed the lie the serpent told, He still loved us so much that He sent His precious Son right into the story to rescue us all. (Isn't it odd, how satan, who was thrown down from heaven for trying to exalt himself to the level of God, came and tempted God's creation with the very same folly he had committed? He told Eve that by eating the fruit they could become like God...and the enemy of our souls is still deceiving people with the same old lie. Mormons believe they will become God of their own universe. The deep thinkers in the New Age movement actively teach each person to say, "I am God... I am God... I am GOD!" Even more subtly, the enemy tries to get us to think the universe revolves around us and "it's all about me!")
As God unfolded His great love story, He did something nobody expected, except Jesus, who was in on it from the beginning. The Father wanted to save us from our folly and our impending death - He didn't want His precious characters to cease to exist when He closed the book on this universe. So He did something radical. He gave us "forever" life... transforming us from fragile butterflys to Everlasting Beings, capable of living in His presence and loving at a magnificent degree, able to carry the weight of His glory into the Storybook that is our collective Epic, and when our short story ends, we find that He has made us able to move from the written pages of His book into the reality of the home He has prepared for us in His presence. We are like His jewels, His bright points of light, coming up from death into newness of life, partaking of HIS nature and becoming His children - He delights in us and all our delight is in Him! God is an amazing Author! He wrote the ONLY story ever written. All other stories, be they good or bad, are merely pale shadows of some small word or phrase found in His Story! We all have a chapter to write by living, and we are all part of the greater tale, interwoven in ways we may never know!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Veterans Day 2004
God Bless our Veterans, our Troops, and The United States of America!

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." – John 15:13

Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! ~~ Patrick Henry March 23, 1775

Many Blessings,
the daughter, grand daughter, and great-grand daughter of Disabled American Veterans who served in Vietnam, WW2, and WW1.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Verse of the Day, via Jessica

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom.”

Luke 12:32

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Various and Sundry

Welcome back Blogger...
I've been MIA the last couple of weeks, but for a good reason. I had so much to process that I had to wait for some of it to "subside" so I could post coherently again. You might say that after a rather bounteous spiritual feast, I was overcome by the spiritual tryptophan and kicked back on the spiritual couch to watch spiritual football and recover (spiritually, that is!). It was definately a "thanks-giving" kind of meal!
The 202 class on Biblical intepretation of dreams and visions was beyond the pale. It was so good I don't even want to tell you how good it was. Suffice it to say I learned stuff I never knew I never knew! :) I know there's lots of stuff I don't know, but generally, I know I don't know it and have it catalogued to learn at some point in the future. It's a rare and wonderful thing to learn something you never knew you never knew! :) I'm very thankful for the teachers I've been given while living on this planet... wonderful, Godly men and women who've done so much more than pass on facts to me... they poured life and revelation and impartation into me. In the Bible, the spiritual gift of teacher (in Hebrew) is actually a word that means, "(one who) causes (others) to learn". Because of the loving kindess they've shown me over the years, I'd have to go even further and say they made me ABLE to learn! Isn't it wonderful when people walk according to their calling and according to the gifts of the Spirit that reside in them? Powerful stuff, folks. May we all learn to walk according to the upward call and by the Spirit.
We're so well-off... not only do we have wonderful, God-given teachers in our lives, but we also have the precious Holy Spirit, the ultimate Teacher who leads us into ALL truth! Jesus taught His disciples (and through the records of those days, He also taught us!). In the OT, we find a promise that all our children will be "taught of God". So it began, so it continues. We're all still teaching each other as well, encouraging and building each other up, sharing what we've been given from the vaults and store rooms of heaven!
All that to say, in essence, I'm grateful for how the Lord has provided such good teaching for us. I thankfully acknowledge that the Lord is good and faithful, and that I've been wonderfully "well-taught"! It's one of the many benefits of belonging to the Kingdom!
Here's my forecast...
In this next season, look for the Lord to restore the "signs and wonders" in the heavens... and a sense of awe to begin to pervade those who are Looking Up! Those who heed the call of heaven to "Come Up Here" will be given new revelation and bring back many of the secrets of the Kingdom to dispense on earth. Many will learn to walk under an open heaven in these days, causing the presence of God to come down and touch the earth. They will draw ever-wider circles around themselves as they go, and all who pass within their circumference will feel the effect of the Spirit of God coming into contact with them as believers grow up and grow strong in the Spirit. Many who have the "world-changer" calling will begin to walk into their destiny in the coming days, to the praise and glory of our Awesome GOD!
I also see increased warfare surrounding the church, with severe attacks coming from many directions. The good news is that the Lord has declared to His Bride, "You shall live, and not die!" and He will be faithful to deliver her from the hands of her enemy. In times of uncertainity, He will send good teachers to her, to give her refuge and direction. God is also releasing a large number of those with a supernatural gift of encouragement to the Bride, and to a lost and dying world. In this season God is also raising up special teachers for the children who will be able to impart to them the fullness of their destiny and inheritance. These teachers have been prepared by the Holy Spirit to receive these little ones in His name, to gather them in and breathe into them all that God has for them, so they can be released into the ministries to which they've been called.
Even so, Lord Jesus, quickly come! The Spirit and the Bride say Come!
(may God keep you in His tender care, 'till He brings us together again!)

Monday, October 18, 2004

Postcard from Heaven:

Dear Friend,
Wish you were Here! I'm never coming back!
In His Love,
I wrote this in another place, on a board where I hang out... but since most of my blog friends have never been to that place, I thought I'd also put it here. This is a "future" journal entry I might make, after I arrive on that beautiful shore! Enjoy! -- LA

Journal entry:
Somewhere outside of Time and Space...
Some time ago I found myself here, and I'm still overcome with awe. Life in the Spirit is so *different*! I'm so glad I'm finally free from the prison I lived in on Earth... it's hard to even remember what it felt like to be encumbered with a temporal body. The new one is much nicer, and as light as air! The laws of Physics are different here...there aren't any! I find myself completely unhampered, unbound, unrestricted... FREE! The Joy of being alive (fully, truly alive!) is wonderfully overwhelming! When I arrived, I found myself drawn to a bright cloud, a glorious Presence, surrounded by worshippers on every side. The cloud seemed to expand and contract like the beating of a heart. The sense of Holiness and wonder and awe would sweep over everyone at each movement of the cloud. I felt my own being expand with Joy like a balloon filled with air! The light of the cloud was scintillating, sparkling, moving... bathing everyone around in a glorious ocean of colors and illuminating everyone from within. The worshippers made a rainbow-like ring of glory around that bright cloud, and I could hold back no longer! I was drawn into the crowd, swelling with worship, Pouring out all the love I could hold inside! Love wouldn't stay in, it was immediately expressed wherever it was felt, which was every moment and from all directions! Love was being poured out as fast as it was being poured in! The utter delight and amazement continued to grow as I looked ever more closely into that cloud and saw many facets of my Beloved. The angels would see, and cry HOLY! and we all would fall on our faces and echo the cry! This went on for some time, until I felt more "whole" than I knew it was possible to feel, and yet, my heart longed for more! In the cloud, I could see Jesus, wrapped in an embrace from His Father. I could stand it no longer... The Holy Spirit inside me leapt and cried out with passion and ran with me into that bright, bright cloud... Where we gave and recieved a million kisses and precious embraces and shouts of joy! And now, I can't bear to leave Him who my heart loves, I can't bear to look away from His face! The adventures we have in a single strand of time would fill the bestseller lists on a million worlds...
Time is only marked here by the continually new revelations of His glory, and the new Joys we experience every moment as His Bride. Every good and beautiful gift is from Him, and we live every moment to bring Him delight! There are, indeed, pleasures forever at His right hand!

Friday, October 15, 2004

Dreaming Cousins

I'm getting excited... I leave on Thursday to fly to Los Angeles. I'm taking my last class in "Biblical Dream Interpretation" and I'm really looking forward to it. I know it's going to be intense. Usually by the end of these 3 day classes I'm mentally overloaded and simply exhausted, but what a good kind of tired it is! I will just have to press in to the Lord even more to get the strength I need. I'll be "unpacking" the understanding and revelation from what I learn for years to come!

I've always been a dreamer, even when I was very young. I talked to my cousin today- the bright, beautiful, vivacious one who is only a couple months older than I am. We sort of grew up together, and I think of her as a sister. She's a dreamer, too. It's one of those things that runs in my family, kind of like how babies in our family tend to either come too early or threaten to!

As we talked today, I reminded her that "talking" was one of her gifts. Apparently, she got two copies of that gene, and I only got one... so those of you who know me can be assured that there really is somebody out there who can talk circles around even me! It's another gift that runs in our family, I call it "Persuasive Speech". It can be a good thing or a not so good thing, depending on whether or not the one who has the gift is a new creation in Christ, having all those generational issues brought to the cross and restored to their rightful function.

When it comes to talking, folks in my clan have to be careful. There's some powerful stuff in our inheritance... we find ourselves pretty much able to offend anybody, start riots or even wars, and even get crowds of people to believe what we say. Or, for those of us who have bowed the knee and pledged our mouths to the Master, we find ourselves able to speak deep and startling truth into pretty much anybody, preach on a moments notice with great effect on the hearers, and even get crowds of people to believe what we say. Talk about the power of life and death being in the tongue! I'm so glad that there are more "preachers" in my line today than not. It gives me a lot of hope for the next generation that we're busy raising up to know and love and serve the Lord.

My cousin was telling me that she was "stubborn" among other things. It occured to me to have her change that confession. She isn't stubborn any longer, she is "Steadfast". Thats restoring her inheritance to what it was supposed to be. We're meant to be able to hold our ground, and having done all to stand, keep standing. That's allowing the generational gift that was distorted by sin (it doesn't matter if it was our sin, or the sin of our Fathers) to be filtered through the cross, to be buried in death with the Lord Jesus and brought back in newness of life, being healed and restored to the original generational blessing it was meant to be.

My cousin and I come from a long line of dreamers. Both of us were shocked when we learned that not everybody dreams and remembers them. I'm still shaking my head in disbelief that some folks don't even dream in color, but in black and white! And not everybody has dreams that are immediately recognizable as a message or a gift from the Lord. Being a dreamer of dreams is to have a spiritual gift, and she and I are both learning to treat it that way. We're learning the Biblical history and teaching about dreams, and how to interpret dreams metaphorically with the help of the Holy Spirit. We're learning to take our dreams seriously enough to write them down and seek after the Lord about them. When we were both about 10, we each had a signifigant spiritual dream that changed our lives. It was at that point (hearing her dream and knowing my own) that I began to wonder just what God had wrought. I was only ten, so I didn't ponder on it too much longer, but I never forgot it, either. By the way, my cousin named her baby "Daniel". She'd prayed and asked the Lord, and that's the name she heard. We both think it's wonderfully right for him, and we can't wait to hear what he dreams about!

Just like the other generational things, dreaming was meant to be a gift. Some of our ancestors were dreamers who heard from God. Others who had the gift used it wrongly, or got mixed up with the wrong spirits. I'm thinking of some of our Indian forebears, who were great dreamers, but had to sweat it out in tents or chew something now on the illegal narcotics list to induce what they thought were "spiritual" dreams. There were also some of them who were Scotts and Irish, who had the gift of "sight" and prophecy, and dreams and visions, but until they knew the Savior, their vision was darkness and false. All too often, we pass over, ignore, or even try to get rid of the gifts we find in ourselves because we fear the gifts, and think they are corrupt, or worse, that they are from the enemy to deceive us and wrong in the sight of God. Nothing could be further from the truth! The Lord is the One who makes us, who puts us together and determines our inheritances. He uses our families (among other things) to impart things to us. Even if your family line passes down to you a "defective gift" like stubborness, God wants you to have it, and have it redeemed and made right, so that you can be the blessing you were meant to be, and do the Kingdom work you alone can do! His power is amazing... He can take a persuasive liar and turn them into a persuasive teller of truth! He can turn the darkness in someone to light, and make their vision clear. He can turn stubborn to steadfast in a heartbeat.

Every family in the earth has been blessed, and every person was born with a purpose, an inheritance, a legacy, a destiny. What generational gifts and blessings have been handed down to you? What traits or characteristics do you see that you need to ask the Lord to restore to being a blessing? Aren't you fearfully and wonderfully made? (The answer is Yes! You are!)

Be blessed, till next time!

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Sunday Peace

I've been avoiding my blog, of all the silly things to do! Here it sits, waiting for me to come and post into it some exciting news, or some inspired revelation, or the results of some fun Word study. And here I sit, without much in the way of exciting news, unless you consider that I had front row seats this morning (actually, 3rd row!) to see 10 people come to the Lord. That was fun! :) I actually teared up a couple of times! As for the results of the fun Word study, we'll I'm working on it!

Inspired revelation... hmmm... let's see... no, not that one..., ummm...nah, uh-huh, not inspired enough... Oh! I know! Here's one! It's about prayer. Prayer is a good thing! But how often do we pray and talk to the Lord as if He's "out there, somewhere, beneath the pale moonlight; thinking of me, and loving me tonight"? (Can't you hear those dear little mice singing even now?) But seriously, when we address God, do we speak to someone in the sky, someone *outside* of ourselves? Most often we do! We might even feel "lonely" for the Lord, and sigh longingly for Him because we're not adequately sensing His presence. Well, I found a cure for that! *wink* Now just go with me for a minute, it'll all make sense soon! I am a Christian. (I am a C; I am a C*H; I am a C*H*R*I*S*T*I*A*N, and I have C*H*I*R*S*T in my H*E*A*R*T... Oops, there it is!)

As a Child of God, I have a direct hook up, right? Didn't Jesus give us His Spirit to live inside of us? So doesn't that mean that God is not out there somewhere, but in here, with me? It does, it does indeed! And He's not hampered, disabled, or limited in anyway. When Isaiah said "Behold, the LORD'S hand is not so short that it cannot save; Nor is His ear so dull that it cannot hear," I think Isaiah knew something that we often forget! It was, after all, Jewish folk who came up with the saying, "From your lips to Gods' ear!" Now, I know the Father is in heaven, and seated at His right hand is the Son, and that Jesus is there preparing a place for us and interceeding on our behalf. So yes, God is out there somewhere. But! The precious Holy Spirit, *HE* is in here. And He's fully God. If I really want to make sure my prayers aren't bouncing off the ceiling, but
instead reaching the vaulted chambers of heaven, then I'd do well to speak into the microphone that's wired for sound right inside of me! From my lips to God's ear is no greater a distance than from my mouth to my heart, where He sits enthroned!

Learning to turn prayer into an internal thing takes time. Learning to seek Him where He promised to abide (in us!) isn't always intuitive. It takes quiet, and solitude, and being still. There might be some who are shocked or offended at the idea of turning inward and praying to a God who dwells inside your skin with you... but you better hope He does dwell there, or you have even bigger problems to deal with! I often think that we are suprised to find the Spirit of God inside ourselves, because we don't fully believe that He did what He said He'd do!

We're on a journey, right? Walking with God, headed for our "Home". I love this verse: How blessed is the man whose strength is in You, In whose heart are the highways to Zion! (Ps. 84:5) Did you get that? The highway to Zion is in your very own heart. So when you pray, you don't need to go out to the rooftop to boost the signal, no! You really can go into your closet, close the door, and get the best reception! And you know what else? I think the Holy Spirit likes being included! He's so wonderful, always pointing to the Father and to the Son, revealing the Father and the Son to us, but He *is* God, and fully ought to be worshipped as such! Father, Spirit, Son, the Three in One!

So when I feel a bit lonely, or hungry, or thirsty, or dying-man-crawling-through-the-desert *desperate*, I can open the eyes of my heart, and to my delight, find Him there, waiting on me, already as close to me as close can be. He's waiting there with a feast, with bread from heaven and a rich wine, the sweetest companion I'll ever know on this side of the veil. And when I look for Him and find Him there, He never fails to lead me into truth, or to do the work of healing and repairing and restoring my wounded soul. But best of all, He carries me into the deep places of God, and there, He helps me lay my burdens down.

My heart is His home, His heart is my home.

"I AM always with you," He said.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Ivy at the park, rolling on the grass! Posted by Hello

Monday, September 27, 2004

TV Messages from Jesus

Here's a thought... As Christians, we're supposed to be able to hear God. (What, nobody told you that?) We're supposed to be able to listen and hear Him speak. Sounds radical, doesn't it? I've been doing it for decades and it still sounds scandalously bold to me!

In fact, you can find many books written on the subject. Peter Lord (that's his real name!) wrote a classic on hearing God, but for me the gold standard is a little book by Loren Cunningham of YWAM entitled, "Is That Really You, God?" I like that book because it teaches principles on hearing God in the context of their experience. It not only gives you application for scripture, but it tells you how it worked for them.

In many churches you might find a class or a sermon devoted to the topic of hearing God. Usually they'll at least grant that God is still speaking to us today, and that we can hear from Him through the Bible, through the sermons, and occasionally through other believers. What they mostly leave out, however, is the art of simply hearing for yourself. If God is true to His word (and I don't doubt that He is!) then we're supposed to have a direct hook-up to Him. We have the Holy Spirit *in* us. You can look up all the verses yourself if you want to know what it means to have God-the-Holy-Spirit inside you! Even if you think you already know, I recommend doing the study!

We all know that God can speak to us in a still, small voice... or that He can sound like many waters. Some said it thundered when God spoke. We can feel a "leading" or a direction, or a nudge, or a "knowing" which means that we're open to hearing from God. Some folks have even heard the audible voice of God and lived to tell about it. :)

None of these things should be too unfamiliar to us, right? We've at least heard of these things if we've been around for a bit. But you know what? There's more! MUCH more!

Think of a radio. AM and FM. There's only so much bandwidth on each, and for every point on the frequency dial a station can put something on the air. If you flip through the stations you'll hear many different voices, many different kinds of music.
Now, think of God speaking. Do we limit His ability to speak to us to just a couple of channels? Do we only allow Him to speak through Scripture, Sermons, and Saints? or do we "flip the dial" and listen for Him everywhere we go, and in everything we do?

Oh, I hear some of you thinking, "That's dangerous! The enemy could deceive someone who went around looking for God's voice just anywhere, right?" Well, I believe that too often we put more faith in the enemy's ability to steer us wrong than in God's ability to keep us on the right track!

God promises to give us guardrails in Isaiah 30:21, "Your ears will hear a word behind you, "This is the way, walk in it," whenever you turn to the right or to the left." And even more than that, we are ordered to tune in and follow Gods directions. Jeremiah 7:23 tells us this, "But this is what I commanded them, saying, 'Obey My voice, and I will be your God and you will be My people; and you will walk in all the ways which I command you, that it may be well with you." Pretty clear, eh?

I think I better get to my point. God is speaking to us much more than we're listening to Him. Go back and read that sentence again! Remember the radio? Imagine if all frequencies were filled with messages from God, and there were no limit on the number of channels He could use to speak to His people. What if I told you that He actually is flooding the earth with His voice, so that those who have an ear to hear, can hear?

I'm sure some of you are thinking to yourselves that there are other voices out there... voices of the enemy, voices of other people, even our own voices on all those other channels. But I'm talking about God here; He owns the airwaves, all those other voices -including our own- are nothing more than "interference."
Sometimes we just have to move in such a way that we block out all the interference and static so we can hear the clear channel of God's voice.

What we need to know is that God is speaking to us *all the time*. It's up to us to learn to listen. (But if you ask Him nicely, He'll even help you do that!) Some of us have learned that God speaks to us through dreams and visions (Thats not weird! Go figure up what percentage of the Bible is about God speaking to folks in dreams and visions and then get back to me!). Some of us have learned to look at "coincidences" a little askance, not really believing in coincidence any more. Some of us have even learned to hear God speak to us through the television set! I know, I know, there is much on television that should be avoided as if your life depended on it - and it probably does! But recently I've noticed some interesting messages being delivered by "tube mail" straight to my heart.

My pastor-friend Doug also teaches on this phenomenon... he noted that the wireless phone commercial where the guy is walking all over the place saying, "Can you hear me now?" was really a prophetic message - God is moving throughout the earth, asking us if we can, indeed, hear Him now?!

A while back, I saw a commercial that instructed me to "Obey Your Thirst". I've seen it a thousand times before, but on this particular day I'd asked the Lord to speak to me. "Obey Your Thirst", it said. HOOYAH! What am I thirsty for?? "As the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after You!" Psalms 63:1 says it best. Oh God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul *thirsts* for You, my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." Add a whole bunch of exclamation points to that verse and you'll know exactly how I felt! Upon hearing that I should obey my thrist from the television set, I was immediately reminded of these words, found in John 7. "Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, 'If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, 'From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.' " Let me tell you, that soft drink commercial *WAS* a message from the Lord! I had a quiet time and a half that day!!!

A few days ago I saw another commercial. It's kind of strange... a guy wakes up with someone sitting on his bed. It's the "king" from Burgerking. He's a rather odd, plastic fellow who feeds the waking man breakfast. At the end of the commercial, it fades to black and the words, "Wake up with the King" flash across the screen. When I saw that, my spirit SOARED within me! YES! Ps. 139 says, "...and when I awake, I am still with Thee!!!" (exclamation points obviously mine!) I was reminded of a whole slew of verses about meditating on your bed at night, about the Lord sealing up our instructions within us as we sleep, about worshipping God in the night watches, and about new mercies every morning, joy that comes in the morning, the bright and morning star and on and on and on! I was also able put two and two together. I realized that lately, I've been waking up a lot during the night. When I do, I've been pulling the love of God over me like a blanket, and pouring out my affection on Him at the same time. In the mornings, however, I tend to wake up and then move too quickly into my day. That TV commercial was a very strong word to me, to "Wake up with the King!" How beautiful are those words the psalmist sung, "...when I awake, I am still with You!" What a marvelous revelation! I already *knew* this, but being reminded of it in such a powerful way is truly inspiring!

So these days, when I'm out and about, I look at billboards to see if there's a hidden message on them. If I watch TV, I'm listening with an ear tilted toward heaven. If I overhear conversations at the sidewalk cafe, I'm pressing in to the Lord, waiting to hear from Him. When I dream, I write them down and ask for their meaning! I expect God to speak to my heart in a thousand ways every day. I'm learning to "tune in" to His voice, and silence all the other voices. A wonderful side-effect of silencing every voice but His is that you're going to like what you hear so much better! Especially what He has to say about you!

So, Obey Your Thirst and Wake Up With the King already!

Friday, September 24, 2004

Dream Post

I had a dream last night where I was reading a book. It was a good book, by some Christian or other, and it had a blue cover. Blue usually means "revelation" in that sort of dream. The author of that book wrote from an "omniscient narrator" point of view. She'd tell you what happened, how everyone felt about it, and what the moral of the story was. I remember feeling very interested in her "style". In the dream, I remember reading some bit of a story, but then the next paragraph was more on the "teaching" side. I remember reading one sentence over and over so that I would remember it when I woke up. (It didn't start out that way, but it turned into a "lucid" dream).
I remember savoring the sentence, meditating on what it might mean, being excited about it.
Funny enough, the teaching was on blogs and posting. It was an explanation of "how things work" on some foundational level. The paragraph was about how God would write a "post" on the tablet of her heart, and in turn, she would respond to that message, writting back to Him in a post on her blog. She'd let the meaning and content of His words to her soak in and come alive, then she'd pour that understanding and the perspective she gained back out, in the form of a post.
The sentence?
"They were writing posts to one another, she and God, and it was good".